FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Every Life Has Value
May 30, 2021
CONTACT: Patricia Noll, Founder and CEO
Good With Me Foundation
2628 5th Avenue North
St. Petersburg, FL 33713
727-424-1270 (Cell)
patricia@goodwithmefoundation.org
www.goodwithmefoundation.org
ANOTHER MASS SHOOTING: JUST ANOTHER DAY
St. Petersburg, FL Sunday May 30, 2021 -- Ho Hum. Another mass shooting. Number 244, but who is counting. It is just another day with the same questions. Who did it and why? Blame is immediately directed to guns, mental health, and COVID-19. Patricia Noll, Founder of the "Good With Me" Foundation, says, "Of course guns, mental health, and COVID-19 have caused, and will continue to cause, lots of problems that deserve our attention, but the guns, mental health, and COVID-19 pandemic are just symptoms of the problem and not the real problem."
We will never stop the daily gun violence that includes high-profile mass shootings, low-profile incidents of gun violence, and gun suicides, when our focus is on the symptoms of the problem and not the real problem. While there is reason to focus on implementing gun laws, mental health universal background checks, and the COVID-19 fears along with increased use of alcohol, the prohibition of guns could end up with similiar outcomes as did the Prohibition of alcohol.
Alcohol consumption did fall at the beginning of Prohibition, but consumption of alcohol steadily climbed after the initial drop.
Speakeasies, who made their own alcohol, grew in popularity. Their growth, along with the growth of bootlegging, made it dangerous to consume alcohol. Crime became "organized" and exploded.
The creative nature of people to find a way to get what they need to make themselves feel good prevailed. What began as a solution to reduce crime and solve social problems failed.
The failure of Prohibition has some very valuable lessons to teach us as we seek to find a solution to end mass shootings.
Let's not repeat the Prohibition model.
It is well documented that whenever there is gun violence, especially a publicized mass shooting, the push for tighter gun restrictions and making it harder to obtain guns legally, including assault weapons, increases and sales go up.
When talk is focused on new gun restrictions, unrecorded private sales, concealed carry permits, multiple sales bought with a single background check, and illegal gun sales explode. And when gun ownership increases so does gun violence. It is a catch-22.
Just as in Prohibition, what begins as a solution to reduce crime, prevent the increasing number of deaths by gun violence, and solve social problems, continues to fail. The creative nature of people to find a way to make themselves feel safe and feel better prevails.
We are living in very different times. Our society has been given permission to express their anger by acting it out in inappropriate and unacceptable ways. The majority of those acting out their anger are not even angry for the reasons they think they are. Although whatever they think beomes real for them, even when what they think is inaccurate. All too often, it is this inaccurate thinking that determines the inappropriate and unacceptable way they choose to act out their anger.
Angry people almost always blame their anger on someone or something outside of themselves. For example, they blame the person they perceive ambarrassed, humiliated, or rejected them, they blame the group that doesn't allow them fit in and belong, they blame the person or persons they perceive treats them unfairly, they blame those they perceive don't like them, and the list goes on. When this kind of thinking goes unchecked it steadily festers and grows until it can no longer be contained. That is when what might have begun as envy and jealousy can become destructive anger, violence, road rage, blind rage, and yes even mass shootings and suicide.
While our lawmakers are engaged in creating new gun legislation that determines who gets to have a gun and the types of guns they get to have, here's what we can do.
We can learn to recognize the power and driving force of the need to feel good. The need to feel good is so powerful that Prohibition efforts failed. It is so powerful that there will never be a way to stop gun violence until we focus on the problem and not the symptom of the problem.
Noll says, "I have met, interacted with, and counseled thousands and thousands of people during my 30+ years as a mental health counselor and addictions professional and have not yet met a single person who doesn't want to feel good. And yet very few know how to feel good without being dependent upon someone or something outside of themselves."
There are just as many unique ways to feel good as there are people on the planet. Some of these unique ways are harmless and others are destructive to self and others. One commonality among all is that the driving force to feel good is so powerful that nothing stops it, not even total self-destruction.
Most of us are familiar with the use of alcohol and/or drugs to feel good, or eating too much ice cream, the whole bag of chips, or the entire box of chocolates at one time for a fleeting few minutes of feeling good.
We might even know someone who works, exercises, watches television all day long or even relies on a relationship partner to make them feel good. But realizing there are those who need to hurt someone or something to feel good is less common. Who would ever think that using a gun to kill someone would make anyone feel good?
There are some who don't know how to control their anger without hurting those they blame for hurting them.
There are those who's thinking about themselves and others is very negatively skewed. They think themselves into believing that shooting those who have treated them poorly and unfairly will make them feel good in much the same way that people think themselves into believing the consumption of alcohol or a myriad of other things will make them feel good. In the end, it is the powerful driving force of the need to feel good by getting even with gun violence that prevails.
There will never be enough protection to save every life from this powerful driving force that takes over. When the need to hurt someone with a gun to make themselves feel good to get revenge exists, that person will find a way to get a gun, legally or illegally.
It is no different from the alcoholic who needs a drink to feel good.
They will find a way to get their alcohol.
Harm and destruction will be meted out to others, self, or often times both. Not everyone who feels this powerful driving force to feel good allows it to fester until they use a gun to hurt someone else. We are advised that 60% of gun deaths are suicides. It festered in this staggering number of people until they used a gun to hurt themselves.
The real problem is that they are angry because they don't feel good about themselves, and probably never have. They constantly compare themselves to others. They are envious and jealous of others, feel embarrassed when they think something is wrong with them, feel left out and not good enough, and much more.
It is fair to say that most of us have experienced some of these same feelings at one time or another. Perhaps they were just not as extreme. Have you ever felt so upset with someone that you wanted to shake them? Those feelings can be scary in retrospect. But, what could have happened if those feelings had been left unchecked and allowed to fester and grow over time?
We are addressing out-of-control gun use in much the same way we addressed
the out-of-control alcohol use with Prohibition.
We are addressing the symptom of the problem and not the real problem of other-dependency. There isn't enough alcohol and drugs or guns and ammunition on the planet to diminiush the hurt, disappointment, fear, and/or loss that turns into anger that festers and turns into blind rage and violence. Have you ever known or heard of someone who cuts on themselves and wondered why in the world they would do such a thing? Have you known someone who gives up on themselves and life and falls through the cracks? That is simply another manifestation of the real problem of other-dependency.
Prohibition of alcohol didn't work. Prohibition of guns won't work. Addressing the root of why an individual wants a gun and why they think they need to hurt someone with it is what WILL work.
We must start teaching self-dependent esteem instead of other-dependent esteem. We must stop teaching people that if they don't have a job, if they are demeaned on the job or in any other situation, if they don't have the right material possessions, if they don't live on the right side of the tracks, if they aren't smart enough, if they are chided instead of praised, or gossiped about by their coworkers, friends or family, that there is something wrong with them. Or that they are not good enough. We must change that message!
It isn't the guns and it isn't mental health that is the driving force to hurt others. It is how individuals don't like who they are. They personalize what is said to them, what is done to them, and what people think about them. That is what leads to the need to hurt and even kill others to make themselves feel good.
The real problem of other-dependency is up to each one of us to fix. If our legislators had a magic wand, I'm sure everyone of them would be glad to use it. One wave of the magic wand and problem solved.
Since there is no magic wand, each one of us must do everything possible to recognize other-dependency when it exists and learn how to make the shift from other-dependent esteem to self-dependent esteem by changing thoughts to save lives.
Teaching individuals of every age how to esteem themselves from the inside-out and recognize their own inherent value does change thoughts and save lives. Noll knows first-hand that it is possible to learn to think good thoughts about ourselves, regardless of circumstances.
This text message that was received from a group member says it all. "...why aren't people taught the things you teach about in group earlier on in life for everybody like in 5th grade or something. I do a lot of thought experiments and I believe if this did take place earlier on in life most people wouldn't have the problems that they deal with and not know how to cope with it. And they wouldn't let themselves self destruct."
People who accept themselves accept others! People who respect themselves, respect others! People who like themselves, like others!
To learn more about how to change thoughts to save lives go to https://www.goodwithmefoundation.org.
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